Choking on a Splinter~

Oh, the humanity.

I had my sentencing hearing this morning at the Courthouse. To say I’ve been dreading this day would be an outrageous miscarriage of truth-it’s all I’ve thought about for months.

See, I was the secretary to the President Judge of Lebanon County. It was a hellish job, he was a prick-but I loved the people I worked with. There was one exception:

Linda Kerkeslager.

Gah, just writing her name gives me the Mexican two-step. The kryptonite to my Superman-Linda loathed me, but only half as much as I loathed her. She was of the school that secretaries took their employer’s abuse, no matter the nature of the crime. Walter sexually harassed and emotionally abused me on a daily basis, and one day I’d had enough.

I’m going to need you to drive me on errands this afternoon.”

This particular Freemason had lent his car to his daughter for the Summer. He assumed my Chevette was his personal Uber, and not once-in three years, did that clown offer me gas money.

Anyway, this time I stood up to him.

I believe you are mistaking me for your personal chauffer,” I barked.

Why, he was infuriated-so much so that he threw his pencil at me. I left the chambers and approached my desk, Linda was in my office.

“You should just do what he says,” she said.

With that I cleared my desk and stormed out in a typhoid of long blonde hair and Irish rage. The obscenities I hurled in her direction are still, to this day, hung in black effigy, above the building. It was anything but pretty.

So, as I stood in the hall this morning, I read the call list for court.

Anna Kerkeslager.

Shut the fuck up, read my thought cloud.

Could that be Linda’s daughter?

Turns out it was her sister in law. Turns out she recognized me. Turns out Linda gets the scoop of a lifetime.

Things are gonna change, I can feel it.

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