Did you ever find yourselves in a virtual loop, thinking you’d overcome your insanity, drugging, rabbit holes, etc. only to find that no matter where you run to, there you are?
As much as I’ve tried to self-isolate during these trying times of self-discovery? It only serves to deepen the despair-and that’s not what we need right now.
We need each other more than ever, but the absurdities o’ the day keep us trapped in our own little hidey holes, imagining we are safe behind the charade.
I suffer from crippling social anxiety. Recently sober, and off all anti-depressants-I’ve struggled to drive into town for gas, let alone see family or friends.
Thinking I’d left my hard-core rabbit holes and pedophile hunting days behind, I was shot back into that world today as anons discovered a gruesome child trafficking ring in the guise of Aquariums in Texas. The details found me sitting at my laptop, in a cold sweat, my golden retriever begging with his big brown eyes-please, mom. You know you can’t do this again-I can feel your angst, you know.
I so badly want to put the past behind, but we all know that none of us will sleep-let alone move on, until the babies are safe.
It is what it is.
I just hope my beloveds know just how much they are beloved.